Where Have The Past 8 Weeks Gone?

   Today my beautiful girl is 8 weeks old. Where has the time gone? My 5 lb 10 oz princess is now 10 lb 8 oz and has grown 2 whole inches. Her beautiful copper hair is now so long the back is hitting her collar and curling up. I never imagined I would be brushing my newborns hair. I absolutely love it. She's a dream.
   I can't believe how fast she is learning either. In the past few weeks, she has discovered her tongue and her little voice- both of which have been so fun to watch. She is putting weight on her now chunky little legs and learning how to pick things up, although she can't yet control where they go. She is doing so well that she is actually ahead in development. Another miracle for a child they thought would be behind due to her 'failure to thrive'.
   After being hospitalized at 2 weeks for that reason, I have had to pump and feed Missy my breastmilk that way so that it was measured and then supplement with soy formula- the only formula she can tolerate at all. While she does tolerate it much better than the others which she is allergic to, it still causes a lot of tummy issues, including severe constipation. That has been our struggle over the past week. Its been so bad that my usually smiley and goofy little monkey has been a whimpering, irritable, screaming and very clingy fuss-butt.
   With Karo syrup in every formula bottle I feed her, 6-8 oz of water a day, and suppositories every few days, we are hoping to get her back on track. I miss my happy girl!
   Through all of this, I haven't been able to get Missy back to the breast because she is used to the bottles I've had to give her. I've been pumping for the past 6 weeks, but my supply is poor and Missy has forgotten how to latch well. It breaks my heart that we were not able to continue exclusive breast feeding. I will continue to pump as long as I have milk though so make sure she gets as much as possible, and continue to hope she will remember how to latch and become comfortable with breastfeeding again.
   Between the breastfeeding complications, the fact that I was unable to have my natural birth as planned, and the fact that my OB will not allow me to have a vaginal birth in the future, I feel completely inadequate and broken as a woman. But as hard as I had to fight to bring my child into this world safely and keep her healthy since, I know that I am far from inadequate as a mother.